“The Bride!” Review

Year: 2026, Director: Maggie Gyllenhaal

OP-ROB RATING: BENCH

A big swing and a miss! Maggie Gyllenhaal’s Franken-adaption has a lot going for it: an all-star cast, zany visuals, and a dynamic storyline. Yet, the core narrative (a Bonnie and Clyde-esque caper) is constantly derailed by underdeveloped and unnecessary side stories. The movie has ADHD. Most glaring is a cringey feminist “revolution”, spawned by The Bride’s anti-authority malfeasance. It gets about 3 scenes, but is impressed upon us as being profound. There’s a nifty, entertaining little creation to be dissected from “The Bride!”. But the creation as it was released is a sloppy and bloated monster of a movie.

“Arbitrage” Review

Year: 2012, Director: Nicholas Jarecki

OP-ROB RATING: STARTER

Richard Gere uses his silver-fox coolness to convincingly portray a powerful hedge fund manager that is caught in two developing crises: one financial and the other personal. Our attention is held; the twists and turns of the story are for the most part surprising and successful. The movie does have just a bit of “made-for-TV” sheen that holds it back from greatness. This is most evident in the unrealistically pristine NYC shots, as well as a shallow (hokey, even) police investigation narrative. For a low-budget corporate thriller, “Arbitrage” is a rock solid investment.

“The Assessment” Review

Year: 2024, Director: Fleur Fortuné

OP-ROB RATING: BENCH

Out of all genre’s, I think Sci-Fi has the highest bar in terms of “audience buy-in”. They need to delicately handle the source material to keep our attention. “The Assessment” is extremely effective in the first third. A couple is being “assessed” for parenthood in a post-apocalyptic world with limited resources, where children are a prized commodity bestowed with extreme scrutiny by an authoritarian government. The intrigue wears out its welcome when sprawling, world-building storylines hijack the core narrative. If you’re like me, you’ll be routinely checking your watch in the latter half.

“Society of the Snow” Review

Year: 2023, Director: J.A. Bayona

OP-ROB RATING: ALL-STAR

A portrayal of Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571, which crashed in the remote Andes in 1972 leaving several crew and passengers instantly dead, with the rest left fighting unbelievably slim survival chances. The story is famous, mostly because of how the 16 men that were ultimately rescued managed to persist. “Society of the Snow” documents the events with a focus on the evolving spiritual conditions of the group (all were devout Catholics). It’s tasteful, perhaps to a fault. And that’s okay. You can get sufficiently horrified by the grisly details on Wikipedia.

“Michael Clayton” Review

Year: 2007, Director: Tony Gilroy

OP-ROB RATING: LEGEND

Despite not being the type of movie that would have piqued my interest when it was released (I was in the 6th grade), I am disappointed in myself for not seeing “Michael Clayton” sooner. It’s gripping, unpredictable, and has an ending that will hits the perfect notes. An “S tier” corporate thriller. George Clooney is ideal for the role of Michael Clayton, a cold-hearted legal “fixer” at a swanky law firm. His dry confidence anchors each and every scene. It’s difficult to pull off a moral tale without veering into finger-wagging-sermon territory, but “Michael Clayton” seals the deal unscathed.