“Two Prosecutors” Review

Year: 2025, Director: Sergei Loznitsa

OP-ROB RATING: ALL-NBA

Set in 1937 during Stalin’s Great Purge, “Two Prosecutors” is a slow-burn that follows a lawyer named Kornyev who seeks justice amid NKVD terror. The movie is bare. You have to soak in it. For example, the idealistic Kornyev visits a stark prison to meet an imprisoned Old Bolshevik named Stepniak. We spend ~30 minutes watching him wait out the prison administrator’s stalling and then navigate seemingly endless halls and iron doors to get to his client. Kornyev still believes in the rule of law, while the effect on the viewer is a plodding and wholly effective sense of dread.

“Toy Story 5” Review

Year: 2026, Director: Andrew Stanton

OP-ROB RATING: BENCH

The anti-woke crowd will have plenty to complain about in TS5. It’s female led, and DEI friendly. I say who cares? The primary problem with TS5 is the utter insanity of the plot. Not the sentient toys. But rather, the human “real-world” in which they exist. Every major plot point relies upon rudimentary toddler toys having the same level of internet connectivity as an iPhone. It’s ludicrous (a fleet of Buzz Lightyears sprout drone propellers after a “system update”). This unbelievability takes us out of the movie, and distracts from TS5’s legitimate proselytizing about the crisis of iPad kids.

“The Long Walk” Review

Year: 2025, Director: Francis Lawrence

OP-ROB RATING: BUST

Adapted from Stephen King’s 1979 novel, TLW is late to the party. Have you seen the most watched Netflix series ever: “Squid Game”? Then sorry, this movie has nothing to add. It doesn’t meaningfully explore the complex human emotions stemming from contests where failure means death any better than the hit Korean show. The novel likely heavily influenced the “Battle Royale” genre, and I imagine that a 1980s adaption might have been a classic. But here we are in 2026, and “The Long Walk” feels stale, despite solid showings from the two leads in Cooper Hoffman and David Jonsson.

“Christiane F.” Review

Year: 1981, Director: Uli Edel

OP-ROB RATING: STARTER, RODMAN

The indelible moment in “Christiane F.”, is when the titular character, a 14 year-old girl, cleans her heroin syringe by plunging water from a flushing toilet in a dilapidated public restroom outside of Berlin’s Zoologischer Garten Station. It nicely sums up the horrors of the film, which follows a young German girl on her downward spiral into drug addiction. It’s an effective movie, anchored by what must be a “Top Ten greatest performance by a teen” from Natja Brunckhorst as Christiane. The fact-based background and steady direction elevate “Christiane F.” above purely exploitative cinema, and certainly earn a single-viewing recommendation.

“Superman” Review

Year: 2025, Director: James Gunn

OP-ROB RATING: BUST

James Gunn broke onto the scene with “Guardians of the Galaxy” in 2014, a film I vividly remember enjoying at the stuffy Entertainment Cinemas in Lebanon, NH. “Superman” shares a lot in common with GOTG. But oh how the superhero landscape has changed, and “Superman” does little to announce itself amidst a grotesque bloat of MCU and DCU ventures, beyond presumably a lot of fan service that went over my head. And that’s telling… maybe I’m becoming an old codger, but what’s the point of watching these goofy movies when you need copious pre-requisite baggage for them to stick?